How Cold Is It?

It is bitter cold here. When I went to an appointment this afternoon it was only about 11 below zero. But one hour later when I left it was 30 below. The wind just blew right through 3 layers of clothing plus winter gear. We don't get the amount of snow that Western New York, where I grew up, gets but it is so much colder. I'd rather have the snow. Getting up in the middle of the night to start my car and let it run isn't fun.

Monday I leave for a week in Hawaii. It is my first, and no doubt will be my last, trip there. My niece is getting married, she and her fiancee are in the Army. It should be a fun time because quite a few family members will be there. That is usually a good thing though sometimes it can not be a good thing. If we can just stay away from talking politics we should be fine. How one family can have both extremes of the political spectrum is beyond me. I'm looking forward to taking lots of great photos.

I had my every 6 month scans yesterday. My liver is stable but my lungs are in a sorry state: bronchiectasis in the lower lobes, lesion in the right lower lobe but only a little growth, fibrosis in the right upper lobe. It is certainly a good thing I never smoked, I'd no doubt be dead by now. I so detest smoking.I will probably elect to wear a face mask on the long flight to Hawaii.

The day after I return I'm having surgery, nothing cancer related but I have to be on coumadin and will be non ambulatory for 6 weeks. Not swimming for 6 weeks is going to be really hard. I live to swim. Then in April I will hopefully be having the last surgery related to my eye cancer.

Why can't the paparazzi leave Britney Spears alone? Honest to God, the woman is mentally ill, stop chasing her. When I saw the photo of her in a car when she ran over someone's foot I though how could she not run over his stupid feet, he was way too close to her car.

When I was driving home from yesterday's scan I drove through downtown Saint Paul. That turned my thoughts to the Republican National Convention coming this summer. I just cannot envision that many delegates, media, and agitators in small downtown Saint Paul. It must be a security nightmare. The road in front of my place is the major route from the airport to the Excel Center where the convention is being held. It will be a good time to leave town except that the Great Minnesota Get Together, otherwise known as the State Fair, is at the same time. It also coincides with the opening of the school year, which is always a hectic time. It should be a very interesting time.

Today's photo was sent to me by Dennis Wilcox, a friend from high school.

I hope everyone is staying warm.

El Salvador 2008

Yesterday I received the details about our medical mission trip to El Salvador in August. I missed the last trip 2 years ago because of my ICU stay so I really can't wait to go again. The plans this year are to do dental and ENT as in other years but adding orthopedics and pulmonary. I have worked in peds for the past 19 years with a focus on seizures and asthma so I'll be working with the asthma team. By team I think it's an adult pulmonary medicine doctor and myself. I hope we are able to develop and implement asthma action plans but I'm thinking it is going to be hard to come up with the staff in the orphanages understanding the need for controllers, not just using fast acting bronchodilators. But we shall see. I'm looking forward to seeing the kids again. We will be going to the same orphanages we went to last time.

There are two groups of people on our trips, the medical team, and teen/young adult Salvadoran adoptees making a homeland visit, usually with their adoptive parents but some come alone. Most of the adoptees are from Ohio as the group organizing these trips is Concern For Children, an Ohio adoptive parent support group. The trips started out as homeland tours, then after 4 trips it was decided a medical team should be part of the trip. The non-medical people learn about El Salvador history, visit some historic sites, and do service projects in the orphanages. Many of the adoptees either visit birth parents or get copies of their adoption files. The government of El Salvador strongly believes adoptees have a right to their original information, unlike so many states here. They also provide free searching services. Many of the Salvadoran adoptees were adopted during the civil war there. Some were taken to the orphanages by soldiers, and their parents, the ones who weren't killed, never knew what happened to them. It is sad and some stories are so tragic you want to cry. There are very few Salvadoran adoptions today, and those that do occur are mainly of special needs kids.

I plan to stay a week longer, along with a few doctors to provide post-op follow-up. I also want to spend more time studying the life of Archbishop Oscar Romero, who was assassinated while saying Mass. In the movies about him it shows the assassination occurring in the Cathedral but in reality it happened in a small chapel on the grounds of a cancer hospital. He lived in a very small house on the grounds. He truly lived a very simple life, unlike other Church powers-to-be. His heart was with the Salvadoran people. He spoke the truth and for that was killed. I trust he will be named a saint someday but not soon. He didn't play by the rules of those in power in both El Salvador and Rome. But he did live his life according to the Gospel of Christ. It was his intercession I prayed to when I was close to death. So I want to spend some quiet time in the chapel and his house. Rent the movie Romero if you want to learn more about his life.

Totally off the subject of El Salvador, I'm hoping the photo I want to upload will show up. It is of a newborn goat, a fainting goat. Jess DelBalzo in NJ raises this type of goat and her mama goats each had twin births this past week. In my opinion baby goats beat out kittens and puppies in the cuteness department. Jess gave me permission to post her goat photo(s) here.

Damn Giants

:-(

Go Packers

Well, today is the day. The Green Bay Packers play the Giants to see which team goes to the Super Bowl.I am a cheese head. Admittedly I am not a football fanatic. It is just a game after all. I don't think the Giants will be able to play in this frigid weather. It is below zero and with a game time of 5:30 p.m. there won't be any sun for a little warmth. One thing I like about the Packers is that they play outside, the way God intended football to be played, not in some heated dome with fake grass. The Packers are the only football team I remember from childhood, which was in NJ and NY. I never envisioned I would one day be living in either Wisconsin or Minnesota.I was 25 years old before I made it further west than Erie, PA.


What I remember from childhood is hearing about their coach, Vince Lombardi, and the fact that the city of Green Bay owned the team. There was a loyalty that seemed missing in many other teams. Vince Lombardi was like a priest with his advice and dedication. I remember watching a game in the 1960's where it was below zero, watching many games where it was snowing, and even one game where it was pouring rain.


My kids have all been to games in Lambeau Field but I haven't. The photo is of my daughter Emily and her husband Jake at the 10/14/2007 game. I sat through 4 years of football games every week when my younger son Alex played for Cretin. I have sat through games where it was below zero. It isn't fun. So I will not be at today's game and will probably only watch bits of the game. My older son Nate is a die hard Packer fan. He and his son will be here watching the game. They really get intense about the game so I will probably need ear plugs to block the yelling out.

In other news, my biopsies were all OK. Just various benign results so that is a relief. Now I get a week's reprieve until my scans next Monday.

The Waiting Game

When you have cancer you get to play the waiting game, often when first diagnosed, less often down the road. It never goes away. This week I am again waiting. I have long had esophageal problems and periodically go in to have my esophagus dilated and stretched, otherwise food and pills get stuck. I had that done this week. This time they saw suspicious areas in both the esophagus and stomach so biopsies were done in 4 areas. I'm not unduly worried but I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a little worried. I'll no sooner get the news, whatever it is, and then next week are my every 6 month lung and abdominal scans so waiting begins again. I have a tumor in my lung that is slow growing, thus it isn't melanoma since that is fast growing. I elected not to have it biopsied because it's in the very bottom of the right lower lobe, a difficult area to biopsy. It cannot be reached by a bronchoscope, I'd have to have a rib removed and go in thru the chest, hopefully missing the diaphragm. So instead scanning is done every 6 months. If it shows growth then it will be surgically removed. I have gotten better at waiting than when I began this cancer journey on 6-6-2002. But it is still waiting, and that is hard.

In 3 weeks I leave for my niece's wedding in Hawaii. She is in the Army, stationed at Fort Shafter, the oldest U.S. Military base on Oahu, completed in 1907. It looks identical to the way it looked on December 7, 1941, and thus is the location for many WWII movies. Julie is marrying a career Army man. They will remain in Hawaii another 2 years or so. Right now Julie's job is playing taps at military funerals in Hawaii. She is a surveyor with the Corps of Engineers but surveying is on hold as money is being spent in Iraq instead. Her undergraduate and master's degrees are in criminal justice. This is the same Army that drafted my Dad at the age of 40. His entire life had been spent in the business world but they tested him and decided he'd make a good bombardier mechanic, LOL. Needless to say they soon realized he was not at all inclined to anything mechanical so they reassigned him on a special project at the Navy Ship Yard in New York City. And there he met my mother, the Admiral's secretary. The rest is history.

Speaking of Iraq, my surgeon is once again there. This is his second tour. He is in the Navy reserves. He was called up between my 1st breast cancer surgery and my second. He served a year at that time. Now he was called up again. I feel bad for his wife and 2 young children. I'm hoping I don't need any surgery before his deployment is up. The Navy Nurse Corps, in which I served, and the Navy Medical Corps take care of the Marines. Where Marines go we go, thus the need for good nurses and doctors in Iraq. I hope we are out of Iraq soon.

Why Adoptees Deserve Their OBC

As an adoptive parent I have always felt that every adoptee has a right to have his/her original birth certificate. It is a basic human right the rest of us take for granted. My children all have theirs. Here is a story out of Britain that illustrates one reason why.


LONDON, England -- A set of British twins who were separated at birth went on to marry each other without realizing they were related, the UK Press Association reported Friday.

The brother and sister, who were adopted by separate parents, were given an annulment after a High Court judge ruled that the marriage had never been valid.

Their identities and details of their relationship have been kept secret, but the Press Association reported that the duo did not find out that they were blood relatives until after they were married.

David Alton, a member of the House of Lords, revealed their situation as a way of highlighting perceived shortcomings in the Human Embryology and Tissues Bill which is now going through Britain's Parliament.

He first heard of the twins' marriage in a conversation with a High Court judge, and initially raised the case in a House of Lords debate on December 10.

Alton said: "(The brother and sister) met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation.

"I suspect that it will be a matter of litigation in the future if we do not make information of this kind available to children who have been donor-conceived. "

Alton is concerned that the new bill would allow the biological identity of one parent to be removed from the birth certificate, PA reported, and that there would be no way for the child to know if they had been donor-conceived.

He told PA on Friday: "The state is colluding in a deception. We are opening the door to more cases like this one. One of the most fundamental things of all is to know who you are. The issue here is about human rights.



I'd like to add also that one of the reasons I oppose donor insemination, beyond the moral issue, is there is almost no way for an adult conceived via artificial insemination ever to learn who their biological father is. Donor egg conceptions are even more of a brave new world we should be avoiding at all costs. I know what it's like to want to be pregnant, I longed for it. But the end, a pregnancy, doesn't justify the means, using another man's sperm or another woman's egg.

Who Is Your Candidate?

My number 1 candidate came out as Dennis Kucinich, followed closely by Hillary and Obama. I was surprised given my anti-abortion stand that I still came out so strongly on the Democrat side. I think it shows you shouldn't vote single issues. When I take tests of which party best suits my beliefs I always come out green. In reality I am an independent.

My brother supports Kucinich. He'd like to see him and Ron Paul on the Republican side. I only know I will not be voting for Hillary so I hope she's not the DFL candidate.

So, who is your candidate?

Death Penalty

Today has been a really gray, dreary day in Minnesota. The news tonight had a story on a current Supreme Court case being decided tomorrow. A group of Kentucky inmates on death row are saying that lethal injection deaths violate the 8th amendment because it is a cruel method of punishment. The 8th Amendment of our Constitution prohibits cruel and unusual punishment. I suppose at the time this amendment was written they were thinking of methods like chopping off one's head as they did in France, drawing and quartering, burning alive. Today they use lethal injection, electric chair, hanging, and firing squad as far as I can remember. These methods certainly sound far less cruel than the older methods but they all sound cruel. I personally am opposed to the death sentence. Taking a life is either wrong or it's not. Two wrongs don't make a right. An eye for an eye method of punishment is what they used in countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq. I'd like to think we are a little more humane here. So, in my mind, the question shouldn't be whether lethal injection violates the 8th amendment but whether the death penalty does. It will be interesting to see what the court decides.

I have 2 friends who have lost adult children to murder, they too do not believe in the death penalty. I am fortunate in never having lost a family member to a crime but I think I would still remain opposed to the death penalty. I prefer a true life sentence, no parole. No TV either. No creature comforts beyond clothing, warmth, food, and shelter. A life sentence would allow plenty of time to think about the life they took.

Today's photos are from my grandfather's album. Maybe these photos could be mounted on the walls of those serving on death row. Just looking at these severe women everyday would be punishment. OK, just joking. But the photos fit in with today's dreary weather and the sad topic of the death penalty.

Tomorrow is my birthday ;-) Happier post.

The Fortune Teller

I have never gone to a bona fide fortune teller. I've never even been to a seance. Growing up next to Lily Dale, NY this may seem strange but it's the truth. For one thing I was raised Catholic. Back in the 1950's I remember a sign in Lily Dale that said Catholics were not welcomed there. Lily Dale, for those of you who do not know, is the home of a religion called Spiritualism. It is a tiny village of lovely Victorian cottages on the 3rd Cassadaga Lake. No one owns their home (or at least didn't when I was growing up);they rented them from the association. I have a lot of school classmates and friends who grew up in Lily Dale. I always thought spiritualism was a bunch of hooey. I am still Catholic and still feel basically the same about this subject.

Now my sister does believe in this stuff. She's no longer Catholic although I'm sure the C is still on her soul, LOL. The first time she went to this particular reader she was told of a man that was near her and had advice to offer. Helen asked his name and was told Roy!! Now, this is our Dad's name, he died in 1988. This reader is not from Lily Dale, does not know our family, and Helen had never seen her before. So now forward to the other day. I left Western New York in 1969 and have lived all over the country. This woman doesn't know me from Adam. She asked my name. I replied, Liz. She asked why she sees the name Carol(Carroll) all around me!! That was my surname from 1970 until November 2002. I took my paternal grandmother's surname of McBride when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My sons of course have the Carroll surname. This really blew my mind. I still don't know what to make of it. She went on to tell me that other than unrelenting reflux I would be healthy and live to 102!! I liked hearing that. I do have terrible reflux but given the rest of my health I'm not convinced I'll live until 102. But I guess I can hope. She told me some other things which were right on, I won't share them but I can say it was like she knew my family.

She told me she saw a man around me, tall, thin, broad shouldered. He was pumping water from one of those old hand pumps. I didn't think to ask the name, darn. The description fits my Great Uncle Howard Olmstead, who was always washing his hands off in the hand pump by the back door. He died on my 15th birthday. I was hoping she'd see a McBride ancestor who would reveal the name of the village in Ireland they were from. Maybe next time.

So I'm left with an experience that certainly proved interesting.I do believe there are people who have a keener sense of the unseen world around us. I'll still remain Catholic but remain open to realizing there is so much we don't know or cannot understand.

Back From WNY

I arrived home from my visit to Western New York late last night. I'm happy to report both flights to and from Buffalo were without incident. Northwest didn't even lose my luggage. I came back with a sore throat and a massive headache, I feel terrible.

Our cousin Esther Olmstead died unexpectedly while I was there. There was a private service on Wednesday for family. Esther, in true Esther style, had left very explicit instructions regarding her service. She was cremated. There will be a public memorial in the spring. Esther was very active in many community activities. I got to visit more cousins than I would have had Esther not died. It was good to see everyone again even though it was a sad occasion. The service was led by Esther's nephew, a minister.

My sister's golden retriever has to have surgery for a torn ACL. I guess it's a fairly common injury in goldens. He was limping, my sister was limping. She has to have a knee replacement, she's not too happy about it. She is an ER nurse and is on her feet all night.

I'll write tomorrow about my first visit with a fortune teller. Very interesting.